40 Day Fast

Today in my small group, someone said, “I’ve been thinking about when I grow up….”

I love it when friends say that. It signals that we’re in a good place to learn, change, transform. It shows that we know we’re not done yet. We are only the current, 2008 model, far from the final product. Like cars, we need to have our engines tweaked, fuel efficiency increased, smoke emissions decreased, tires balanced, chips updated, batteries recharged, and owner’s manual explained…even though this will be the 300th day this year that God diagrammed how to turn the steering wheel in His direction.

Being teachable it a great quality. But the question still must be: Who are our teachers? Are there significant others whom we seek out because they know more than we know? That’s a good question to ask any follower of Jesus Christ. It is an even better, dare I say, more important question to ask leaders of followers of Jesus Christ.

As a person sometimes referred to as a leader, I believe everyone in a position of leadership should be able to answer questions like:

• Who are your mentors whom you seek out for counsel?
• Who are your teachers that help you acquire, understand and apply new knowledge?
• Who keeps you accountable—professionally, personally, and spiritually?
• Who can say “no” to you, and whose “no” will you accept?
  

It is dangerous place to be without a teacher. I know for my own good and others’ sanity that I must put myself under other people’s authority. That’s “put” not “resign” myself. I need people to whom I can go with big questions, stupid questions, practical questions. I need to know that there are people out there who can and will stop me when I grab the steering wheel and won’t let go.

It’s not enough to say, Oh God keeps me in check, God is my mentor, teacher, authority; He’ll tell me if I go rogue. It’s not a question of whether God will speak up, but whether we will we hear it, admit to it, or obey it. If we are confident that God will exercise His leadership over us, we should be confident that He can use others to speak it as well.

Small obediences
So much of growing into a mature believer is Obedience — doing what God says to do even if it comes from someone else. It’s never easy, though, because we often mistakenly believe that growing up means exerting total, perfect control. I am learning,however, that smaller obediences done frequently over time are much more effective and far less painful than having to later own up to a major disobedience.

It’s the essence of Matthew 5:21-30:
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus is saying, commit yourselves to the small obedience before your large disobediences get out of hand:

Put aside your anger towards your brother (small obedience) before you kill him (big disobedience).

Make your relationship right with humans (small conflict) before you try to make your relationship right with the Almighty God (big conflict).

Settle out of court (small payment) before the judge throws you into jail (your whole life and every last penny).

Look the other way before you have to tear out your eye; and if you can’t look the other way, blind yourself to temptation before temptation blinds you into damaging another person.

Risk small losses before you lose everything.

As we grow, can we loose ourselves in complete obedience to God? Is it possible to willingly and unbegrudgingly say, “Yes, Lord!” It’s hard unless growing up means discovering that we can trust God with everything, even our life —just as Jesus His Son did. It’s not so hard if our relationship with God is entirely one of love. It becomes easy when we see His directions as expressions of His Love for us and when our response is purely driven by our Love for Him. A child who adores her Heavenly Father, that’s what I want to be when I grow up.

Loading mentions Retweet

I went to bed thinking about Romans 8 and woke up with this song in my head.

Integrity Music version:

Loading mentions Retweet

The Grace in Intercession

I was struck when I read yesterday’s November 7 Oswald Chambers reading from My Utmost for His Highest (see Day 20 posting for text). I turned to Dan and asked, “Is Oswald Chambers suggesting that intercession is not just prayer but action?”

Note in particular the highlighted sentences from the reading’s first paragraph:

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Chambers points to everyday circumstances, the things that occupy the normal routine of our lives, as the arenas where God can use us to bring others into a relationship with him.

In the scripture reference, Romans 8:28, the apostle Paul writes, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Chambers echoes Paul in saying that the piddly details of our lives—and not grand expositions of heroic proportions—that are the molecules, atoms, and particles that are the stuff of God’s purposes.

Yikes! Does that mean when I pour out the ketchup on my burger and fries that I’d better be extra careful because a little condiment could determine eternity for some unsuspecting soul nearby? Do my actions determine the fate of the Universe, or the fate of someone six degrees of separation from me? [swell of orchestra music]

No. The whole point is to not be anxious about performing well. The idea is to not be overcome by fear of failure or haunted by the possibility of missing some divine appointment. The point is to not think God casts a tyrannical stare upon our lives, that He’s just waiting for us to mess up or weighing whether our actions are fit for heaven.

Romans 8 is in fact a message of Hope. It begins with the bold absolute, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No condemnation. It rises with a crescendo of  “If God is for us, who can be against us?” [v 31], and wraps with the thundering, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [vv 38-39]

The message is quite simple: RELAX.

It’s God’s work from beginning to end but we get to participate in it—not as bystanders but as players on the field in a game our God has already won.

Our Coach is the Holy Spirit, whom the Bible calls “advocate, counselor, and helper. The Spirit is God’s gift of himself, his intimate presence comfortable enough for human-sized capacity. The Holy Spirit lives in us, renewing and guiding us through our daily lives, and putting us in places where we impact the lives of others. All we need is to be available and watchful so that we recognize the movement of God and have the pleasure of seeing our lives intertwine with others so that we can praise God for it.

This idea brings a whole new understanding to intercession. Intercession doesn’t mean kneeling for hours on cold, hard floors, or finding the right words to pray for God’s help, or any activity that seems interminably boring, frustrating, helpless, or hopeless.

It does mean seeing others with God’s heart, feeling compassion for them, and taking that compassion to the Lord. It means stopping to listen, taking a moment to notice, turning when the Spirit moves us.

It might mean a kind word to someone having a hard day. It might mean giving to a ministry or cause that touches lives we can’t reach. It could require a simple “Thank you,” or “I’m sorry.” It might mean standing by someone’s side, or sitting in someone’s hospital room. It may be packing a child’s lunch in the morning, or tucking him in at night. It may be small words of blessing or loud shouts of, “Way to go!”

Intercession is what we do as part of our everyday lives as we walk with Jesus in the love of God. Intercession is all about grace, the grace of God within us that we spill out to others. For all we know, it may someday mean sharing ketchup with the table next to us.

Loading mentions Retweet

From Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/07/devotion.aspx

November 7, 2008
The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances
We know that all things work together for good to those who love God . . . —Romans 8:28
[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=rom%208:28;&version=31;]

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Am I making the Holy Spirit’s work difficult by being vague and unsure, or by trying to do His work for Him? I must do the human side of intercession— utilizing the circumstances in which I find myself and the people who surround me. I must keep my conscious life as a sacred place for the Holy Spirit. Then as I lift different ones to God through prayer, the Holy Spirit intercedes for them.

Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, ". . . but the Spirit Himself makes intercession" in each of our lives ( Romans 8:26 ). And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.

Loading mentions Retweet

Live life with no regrets. That’s a life motto I took up the day my dad died.

He had lived a full life when he died almost two years ago. He died quietly at home, in his bedroom, my mom holding his hand in the cool of the morning as the sun streamed gently from the east over the Pacific Ocean.

He went so quietly that my mother didn’t notice. He had been failing the two days prior. My sister, a physician like him, was home from San Francisco at the time. She called me around 9 that morning and said that his pulse was weak and that his time was imminent, we should come over soon. She called back within 15 minutes to say, “Dad’s gone.” It was as if he slipped out the door.

That day, I knew that life needed to be approached with a no-regrets attitude.

• When I have the power or even tiniest ability to forgive, do it—and do it again.
• When I have the smallest urge to make a conciliatory gesture, do it.
• When I have made a mistake that hurts others, own up to it.
• When there is a misunderstanding because I have not communicated clearly, clarify.
• When I have the opportunity to do something that I will later regret if I don’t, grab it.
• When I see I can make a difference in someone else’s life with even a smile or thank you, express it.
• When I appreciate someone’s work or effort, tell them.
• When I understand that this prickly irritability really has to do with hormones, explain it.
• When the time spent doing insignificant things with someone I care about looks trivial, waste it.
• When the small things in life suddenly look beautiful, admire them.
• When I’ll never pass that way again, pass slowly.
• When humility on my part can solve a problem, lay my body down.
• When my weaknesses can accomplish more than my strengths, surrender.
• If I can look back on my life and see a road that has led me to become a better person, thank God for it.
• If I can learn from others, especially my children, be teachable.
• If new perspectives change a situation from hopeless to hopeful, turn with them.
• If old habits have outgrown their usefulness, retrofit them or discard them altogether.
• If I don’t need something, don’t take it.
• If I see the bright side of things, shine a light on them for others.
• If I can extend grace to people who would benefit by a little slack, be generous with it.
• If patience will make me a better person, practice it just a little longer than I think I can.
• Whenever I can, tell those I care about that I love them.
• When it’s hard to say I love you with words, show it without words.
• When I think I hear God’s voice, listen.
• When I know I hear God’s voice, follow.
• When people pass out of my life, let them go gently.
• When crying is necessary, don’t hold back.
• Remember to say hello and goodbye, thank you and I appreciate you.
  

Live with no regrets.

Loading mentions Retweet

Does God answer prayer?

If you were expecting a Yes or No answer, you don’t know me very well. And if you do know me, you might suspect correctly that it’s a trick question.

First, it’s not a good question. It’s not a well-framed question because it is based on assumptions that lead people astray rather than help them understand God.

It assumes that prayer is always a request and that those requests are reasonable. You might as well ask, “Do parents give their children what they ask for?” The answer would be, “It depends.” It depends on what the children are asking for. Are we asking God reasonable requests?

It assumes, if prayer is a request, that we know how to ask and what to ask for. It’s the difference between “Give us this day our daily bread,” and “Give me a big fat juicy steak.” The first concerns itself with humble primary needs, and the second with over-stimulated taste buds. We need to ask ourselves, “What should we be asking (praying) for?”

The question, “Does God answer prayer,” is an unfair proposition. It limits prayer to a one-sided understanding — the Yes/No model where God stands on the other side of wall, curtain, or impenetrable barrier. We stick our prayer requests under the door or through latched door, and he hands back his answer, “There!” Or he doesn’t answer at all.

When we make these assumptions, when we reduce God to a Yes/No question, we limit the infinite, indescribable, inconceivable person of God. In the Old Testament, Job and his friends try to explain why Job suffers, who God is, and whether God answers when people cry out . After more than 30 chapters of talking around God, God himself lays into them:

1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

 2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel
       with words without knowledge?

 3 Brace yourself like a man;
       I will question you,
       and you shall answer me.

 4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
       Tell me, if you understand.
                                     [Job 38:1-4]*

God has answers beyond human understanding that make Yes/No propositions look stupid — stupid in the sense that they are without the intelligence, appreciation of the complex, wisdom, caring and love that differentiate humans made in God’s image from all the other creatures of the earth.

So now what? We begin by changing prayer from a question into a conversation, a dialogue, a dynamic relationship, dare I even suggest a dance.

We need to see the path of prayer – that what may seem like a binary answer: 1 or 0, yes or no — is really more like binary code, a series of 1’s and 0’s that act upon one another to produce a far larger, elegant masterpiece.

What may be No at one juncture may be Yes a little further down. What we hear as negatives and positives are simple redirection of our path to an ultimate outcome that we could not have imagined if we just stuck with a solitary Yes or No.

In Isaiah 1:18, God invites us:

      "Come now, let us reason together,"
       says the LORD.
       "Though your sins are like scarlet,
       they shall be as white as snow;
       though they are red as crimson,
       they shall be like wool.  

He says that sin or wrong doing or feeling guilty or the worst that we are — do not have to stay that way forever. God overwrites the presumptions that block us from engaging with Him in meaningful relationship. God himself calmly sits us down and invites us to not so much negotiate a settlement as learn about the deeper matters of the heart with Him as our counselor.

Does God answer prayer? In short yes, always yes if we with him look for the answers together.

Loading mentions Retweet

November 4, 2008 – a historic day in American history, the day the United States of America elected its first African American president.

It’s been a strange exercise to be so focused on prayer during the last 17 days running up to today. How nice, or should I say wise of God to move me into this frame of mind during this important election period. Not a political person by nature, I have felt more invested in the process because of praying. I also feel a calm in the aftermath and great hope for our country—and I should qualify that by telling you that I did not vote for Hawaii’s native son but for his opponent, and I feel un-agitated by the results.

That, I am discovering, is the nature of prayer. Conversation and contemplation with God has an equalizing effect, stabilizing life and creating equilibrium when everything else hangs in the balance. I guess we could call it "peace."

People are always asking me how things are going—good, bad, well, hard, happily, terribly could be answers. Most times I don’t really know how to answer honestly. I used to say a lot: “Busy. We’ve been really busy.”

But the truth is that Dan’s and my life is ALWAYS busy. That’s how it's been for 27 years; that's the norm. When are we not caught up in a project, program, problem that rocks our boat? Yup, our boat is pretty much rocking all the time. We man a boat always caught up in gale winds, towering ocean swells, fast currents, rocky coastlines, sweltering noons, and narrow straits. God hasn’t seemed to spare us the full open water experience.

[I should say, before your imaginations run wild, Dan and I are fine. We’re good, really good with each other. We happily share the same boat and neither of us plans to mutiny or sharply nudge the other before yelling, “Man overboard!”]

However, because our lives are ministry, our boat is a Life Boat. Ours is a little dinghy that rescues people amid the storms of life and also shows them how to sail through the storms.

Right now there are people around us who have debilitating diseases, dissolving marriages breaking apart, suicidal thoughts, financial melt downs, personal crises, and anxious, fearful hearts. Dan also has a church to pastor, together we have a separate ministry to continue, and we have children, family and friends we care for. That’s why our boat is always rocking.

More experience is not going to steady our boat. We cannot anticipate every maelstrom, nor get early warning on that rogue wave. Every change in weather means learning a new tact. And when we get caught in a perfect storm, the only thing we can do is ride it out, hang on for dear life, and pray.

That, my friends, is a good thing. We are getting good at riding out storms by praying through them. We pray to seek solutions, but in a storm the fix-its are seldom quick or easy. We pray to understand circumstances, but in a storm those circumstances are frequently beyond our control. We pray to find resolutions, but in a storm the origins are deep, emotional and often not logical. We pray for miracles, and sometimes the miracles look a lot different from the good weather and calm seas we seek.

It makes me think of Jesus calming the storm in Matthew 8:23-26:
Then [Jesus] got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

I am learning that prayer is having Jesus in the boat. Our boats will be rocked: life is rocky. I can guarantee that, whether or not you are in ministry. We just cannot cross the ocean without encountering storms and we cannot control the storms. However, in the tipping and toppling, the swishing and sloshing, Jesus sits in the center and calls us to sit with him and see life from his perspective. He takes us through the ups and downs of life.

Prayer is perspective and patience in a rocking boat, and on a rocky road to Washington.

Loading mentions Retweet

C.S. Lewis

Loading mentions Retweet

I woke up this morning with an acute awareness of being on a journey learning about prayer that I didn’t really realize I was on until now.

I guess it’s kind of like falling asleep in a car and waking up and discovering that you’re headed out somewhere. The seat was just a seat, and now its become an amenity in transportation.

Or maybe it’s like going out for a walk and finding new roads, trails and neighborhoods that will take a long time to explore and become familiar with.

Most journeys hold both the familiar and yet unknown. And the best journeys take a certain adventuresome nature, held fast by an ability to keep one’s bearings in new territories.

When I was in college at UC Berkeley, I used to take long walks. I’d finish all my work on a Friday afternoon, then reward myself by setting off to explore the neighborhoods. Going on foot with a lightly packed backpack, I’d give myself maybe an hour max in one direction, and then head back, trampling along Berkeley’s funky sidewalks in the musty late afternoon air.

I loved those walks. It was before I started lap swimming. I’d have complete quiet to myself and could do what I wanted. That’s how I found Peet’s Coffee on  Walnut Street on the north side. This was before Peet’s went commercial. You could only buy Peet’s at Peet’s in Berkeley. And they not only had coffee but exotic teas, like Pumphrey’s Blend and an herbal mint composite that no longer exists.

I discovered Nabolom Bakery, stuck behind Sweet Dreams toy store on College Avenue on the south side. I think it was run by a bunch of former Berkeley hippies – fresh ingredients and lots of butter gave the women employees with heads tied up in scarves and faded natural fiber pants smooth, rounded hips. The spectacular danish pastries were a personal treat that I’d take back to my apartment to savor later that night with a cup of hot coffee.

I always timed it carefully. I knew I couldn’t leave later than, say, 4:30 during fall or winter because I needed to get back to my apartment before dark. Some things don’t change: every Cal student knew you should never walk alone at night. But in the late fall and winter afternoons, you could walk fast in the cool air and smell the foliage and sometimes burning fireplaces that you never get in Hawaii.

I used to wonder if seeing me, people thought me strange. I traveled alone and with pretend purpose, walking quickly with head straight ahead as if I knew exactly where I was headed. I didn’t want to be mistaken for a lost soul. I always had a destination: College Avenue on the south side or Solano on the north side. But along the way, I would see things and think things, and when I got to my turn around neighborhood, there were boutiques and neighborhood groceries to peek into. And then I would head back.

This spiritual journey that I have woken up to has that same feeling. God has me out for some exercise beyond my ken. Again, it’s only Him and me with a destination – but one that I am not entirely sure of. I’ve not walked these roads before.

And though the territory is strange, I’m not scared – because I keep looking ahead. My steps are marked with determination even though I’m just a young undergraduate in the university, or should I say universe of spiritual understanding.

I’ve a mild sense of exhilaration, not unlike the adrenaline rush you get from exercising. Moving my spiritual muscles, working them a little harder, pushing them just that much more causes me to breathe deeper and expand – not my lungs – but my being. I am feeling parts of myself come slowly alive, called into use. Maybe that’s what prayer is: a breathing out of our lives and a breathing in of God’s.

Like those Berkeley walks, this journey takes time out of my day. But instead of it being something I put aside at the end of the week as a reward, I’m finding myself in the middle of it every day – not suddenly and strangely lost, as if I had awoken from sleep or amnesia – but more like I’ve been on a journey all along but now I’m looking up and viewing the scenery differently, with more detail and a running commentary from God.

Journey as allegory is a convention in English literature that goes back hundreds of years. Danté and Milton both wrote about trips to paradise and hell. My favored book by C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce likewise talks of a bus ride to heaven. We’re all journeys that we sometimes fail to recognize. When we don’t put ourselves into the hands and guidance of God, maybe we end up like the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years, aimless and lost.

Where am I headed on this current journey with God? Lately it’s been inward, marked by introspection and elevated observation of how my small actions fit into God’s grander scheme. I suspect, however, that the inward will also lead me outward as God develops in me new reinforced strength to journey into situations in which I am truly a stranger but somehow look familiar to people I meet.

Coincidentally, I learned a new word tonight: GORK— an acronym used by  medical practitioners for “God Only Really Knows.” That’s my journey right now. No highlighted map for the route I’ll take. No summarized itinerary of sites I’ll visit along the way. And that’s fine, I can live with that. Because as long as God really knows, I will be okay.

Loading mentions Retweet