40 Day Fast

Tonight a friend’s husband who is a semi-practicing Jew but who more honestly calls himself an agnostic — asked Dan and I to pray for him. Here’s his deal, something he’s stated openly for the last year: If God heals me of my chronic health condition, I will become a faithful believer and member of your church touting all its merits.

So we prayed for him — openly, in a public restaurant, eyes closed, hands held. No one could mistaken we were praying. And that’s the interesting thing.

Jake (I’ll call him Jake for anonymity’s purpose) asked US to pray for him. He brought it up. We talked no religion the two and a half hours previous, but now after coffee and dessert, he laid it out.

He reiterated that he acknowledges that God possibly exists because there is no other logical explanation for the creation of the universe. But outside of that he concedes nothing. A Jew, he cannot understand why God, if he really does exist, would allow the atrocities of the Holocaust and many of the other horrors of world history. However, this chronic condition has plagued him since childhood and IF God healed him, Jake would concede everything.

What did I say yesterday (Day 11) about tests? As much as this sounds like a test of God, it really is not so much a test as a request. A request with a familiar ring, a New Testament ring.

Many people came to Jesus because they were at the ends of their ropes. In Matthew 9 we see in succession: a paralytic, the father of a dead daughter, a woman with the 12-year hemorrhage, two blind men, and a demon possessed man. They sought out Jesus because he offered the possibility of hope when all else had failed. These were not tests of God’s existence or power. They were real cries for help. Just like Jake’s.

So we prayed for him. Nothing has happened yet. Maybe when he wakes up tomorrow something will have happened – maybe not. I don’t know if or when God will heal Jake of his physical condition. Yet I know God wants to heal Jake of his spiritual condition, and I think God will because I  see in Jake’s eyes the hope that he can make good on his pact. He wants to be healed, and if he is healed, that’s enough for him to follow Jesus. It would be a good thing.

I think Jake is a seeker. He would like to believe but he doesn’t have a reason. He’s witnessed his believing wife’s experience but he seeks an experience of his own. Don’t we all?

Jake doesn’t want to believe because people told him to, or because it’s smart or fashionable. He doesn’t want to believe by default, or because it seems like a good idea. Jake wants a reason to believe, something he can give first-hand testimony about and attest to down to the core of his being..

Therefore he came to us—not, I think, because Dan’s a pastor, but because he feels he can trust us. That's risky business. Somehow, he feels he can trust us with his weaknesses. He feels safe expressing his doubts. And (I would like to think) he perhaps sees in us an authentic, ongoing experience of Jesus Christ that could fit into his life.

That’s a compliment. That’s the kind of pray-er I am wanting to become more like —someone people feel okay bringing their worst and not just their best. Not just complaints but honest, deep in the hole, help-me-if-you-can-Lord, requests —the ones that say, “Change me.” There's no better prayer.

If you read this, no matter what, no matter when, would you pray with me for Jake? God wants to change all of us, inside and out. I’ll let you know what happens.

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Day 8
As God would have it, Day 8 was a Sunday and spent in the active practice of prayer at our church. Interesting, huh?

It came in two parts. Dan’s sermon was on Samson and his misuse of his gifts. He challenged us to consider whether we were using the gifts God has given so generously to each of us for ourselves or for the kingdom. At the end of the worship service, Dan he an invitation to people to either make a first time commitment to following Jesus Christ.

Oh me of little faith, I was startled in the third service, the smallest of our services, to see people jumping out of their seats and streaming down the aisle until there was no room at the front. They came alone. They came hugging spouses and friends. And there were lots of tears.

Seeing that Dan did not have enough elders and prayer team members to pray with people, I went forward to help and ended up praying with two women. I never know exactly what to pray with these people, not knowing their stories and not wanting to assume anything. But it is always a privilege to welcome their further step into God’s arms.

I know that every step is part of the process of God unfolding our lives. Moments like these are markers – but I am always praying, hoping that they don’t become plateaus. Decisions to follow Christ are not accomplishments but opening a door. I asked the Holy Spirit to become even more real in the two people with whom I prayed. He really is the best teacher, and His powerful filling is the fastest way to discovering intimacy with God.

The second part was our healing service in the evening. I was disappointed that the two men, as it turned out, didn’t have an obvious health problems that we could test for healing right away. Instead, they had long-term issues, one a chronic health condition, the other a long separation from his children because of unresolvable marital difficulties. Those were hard. I had no answers, no wisdom. I felt no overwhelming passion or strong connection.

But I guess God just wanted me to pray with them and offer comfort. I’m hoping that God used my gift of a listening ear and a comforting word.

I’m learning that as a pray-er, I don’t have the answers. That’s not my job or responsibility. They thirst but I don’t have the contents, only the cup that I can carry to their lips.

I am learning to become detached and not be anxious for the answer they want.

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